


What Could Have Been (And What Cannot Ever Be)

by Caroleena_Alonea



Series: Of Vibranium Shields, Lost Loves, and Building Futures Together [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-30
Updated: 2013-04-30
Packaged: 2017-12-10 01:04:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/779997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caroleena_Alonea/pseuds/Caroleena_Alonea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The day that Steve Rogers found out that gay marriage was legal was the best and worst day of his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Could Have Been (And What Cannot Ever Be)

It's 2012 and gay marriage is legal in New York.

Well, it's legal in other places too, but New York, that's where it matters.

At least that's where it matters to Steve.

(He can remember soft spoken words in the darkness of the night. Bucky's arms around him, whispers in his ear.

"I'd marry you if I could, Stevie.")

Steve drifts silently around the city after he finds out, not sure what he wants to do, unwilling to just sit around the tower.

(He remembers the first time they kissed. It was a quick press of lips to lips, ripped apart and over before he could really understand what had just happened.)

He sits alone when he finds a small park. Shield doesn't need him today and the others are busy with their partners.

The park is filled with screaming and laughing kids, chasing each other around happily, their parents chatting with each other, paying no mind to the silent man sitting alone on the bench.

(He and Bucky used to go to the park after the sun had set. Bucky liked pushing him on the swings. Sometimes Steve would climb to the top of the slide and laugh as Bucky sat atop the swing set. They would wave to each other and sneak back into the orphanage, silently taking the scolding when they were caught.)

He sees a couple intertwined under the cool shade of an oak tree.

(He remembers a bed shared for warmth becoming a bed shared for two boys who loved each other more than anyone could understand.)

He sees two boys fighting at the open area where most play sports, a bigger boy coming to the smaller's defense. It makes him smile.

(He remembers getting beat up and Bucky coming to his rescue, remembers the whispers that followed them, how Bucky would find dates for them to cover their tracks.)

He sees two kids dancing in exaggerated steps, their friends laughing around them.

(He remembers how much it hurt when Bucky would dance with a girl.)

He sees a man lean down and whisper something in a woman's ear.

(He remembers arms wrapped around him in their bed and a whisper in his ear.

"One day, I'm gonna dance with you. I don't care what any of those busy bodies think or say. I'm gonna pull you out onto the dance floor and I swear we'll dance until they throw us out.")

He watches the clouds roll in, the light snow falling as he stands and begins to head back to the tower.

(He remembers outstretched hands and trying to get drunk enough to forget the call of his name from Bucky's lips.)

Steve sighs and walks alone, the ache of an empty hand and the pain of his past as his company.

It's 2012, men are allowed to marry men, and women are allowed to marry women.

It's a dream come true.

(It's just 70 years too late.)

**Author's Note:**

> Also posted on fanfiction.
> 
> Now translated to Russian by the amazing efinie (just take out the spaces): efinie. diary. ru/ p193007003 . htm


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